Every so often everyone finds something that they want to change about themselves, it's like the change of seasons: a new season, new style, new colours, new moods, and different things work better. As a girl in her mid 20s, even though I don't really like it, I'm all about change at the moment. It's difficult not to be. I hesitate to use phrases like " finding myself" because it seems like that is a conscious decision to do that... I'm not. I have a pretty decent idea of who I am, even when I think I don't. I have no "finding" to do. I'm pretty much there.
My changes, are more like sorting out the decor, rather than buying a new place. I'm more concerned with adjusting what I can to fit my vision than writing-off what I have to start with. It is not a simple process because sometimes, you find that a pillar in the middle of the room that you always thought was essential needs to be knocked down.
But it's alright. It's a different kind of rewarding when you think (or know) you will like or excel at something new, and you do - not because of luck or practice or having a natural knack, but just because it sits well with you. The lessons I have learnt so far when things don't work, are just as fulfilling. These are the reasons why I am starting this blog, and why I hope to keep at it. I kept a (lockable, hide in a secret place in my room type of) diary as a pre- teen, and wrote an online journal in my late teens. I wish I had been more consistent and kept at it - I would have a few years of documented history - showing the highs and Lows and changes I've made. I want to have that now.
And I'm doing a few things that are a big deal for me, that I want to remember. I'm touching up my decor, looking at it, getting rid of what I want to and keeping what I like. This will continue, no doubt, with or without this blog. Ultimately, I want to be not just the best version of me, but I want to be the me I like - and rule.
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